Sunday 8 January 2017

Dear Chloe's Bullies

This is an open, public letter to bullies of Chloe, a girl I have heard about through my friend sharing her friend's post with screen shots of the entire group chat.

Dear Leah Ingram, Emma Reed and Ryan Bailey,

Please, listen to what I have to say. Please, stop bullying Chloe. I want to share with you some of the things that are the result of being bullied for 14 years of my life, in an attempt to help you understand what could happen if it does not stop.

As a result of being bullied as a child and teenager, I have suffered with gallstones because of the anxiety brought on by bullying and harassment. One of the most painful physical illnesses you can possibly suffer from. It is like something trying to eat its way out out /of you, while simultaneously feels like something is tearing you up from within. Try doing exams while on Tramadol and still suffering from unbelievable physical pain. All brought on by bullying. While I had an operation to get my gallbladder removed, the physical complications persist to this day in form of IBS.

Another thing you could lead to is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is hell on earth. Try walking around the town and being afraid of seeing people that resemble your bullies  and your traumas. Try fearing your own shadow. This is no way to live. I live in fear 24/7. I live in fear that this shadowy creature running beside the bus is going to throw the brick it is holding and it actually being real and hitting me.
C-PTSD is horrible. It is painful.

A bunch of different disorders this bullying can result in are personality disorders (especially Borderline PD, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy), anxiety disorders, as mentioned before C-PTSD, eating disorders and more. Eating disorders are NO joke. Being afraid of eating anything and putting on weight, or being afraid to eat things because you fear eating something new or different is horrible. It could lead to mood disorders.
I wouldn't wish any personality disorder or any kind of mental health problem on anyone. Including you. This is how bad things are.

Anxiety disorders are terrible disorders to live with, And if this bullying keeps on happening, she might develop one to such a scale that she will be scared to leave her house.
Bullying and mental illness are NO joke.

Please, stop telling her to commit suicide. You including that statistic of a person dying from suicide every 2 minutes and telling her to be six feet under is sick, despicable, and outright shocking.
Imagine yourself being added to such a conversation. And people saying this kind of thing about you. Tell us, how would you feel? What would you do? What would you be thinking?
These questions are important for you to answer honestly, and just yourself,

Through the experiences I have had of bullying, I no longer trust people. I no longer enjoy life without being scared of my own shadow. I no longer have confidence in myself to be able to do the things in life I want to do. Instead, I ponder upon quitting at every sight of failure, as I feel I am worthless and a beyond repair. While therapy has been helping me to deal with things more and starting to break out of that shell a bit, it is still there. I have PTSD reminders of my traumas every day in form of nightmares and and flashback/hallucinations. I continually battle with my own mind just to keep myself alive for one more day. And you do everything in your power to drive Chloe to her death? How can you?!
Would you really do all of the things you've said if she committed suicide?
How would you feel if she attempted suicide and was fighting for her life in hospital? And then, quite possibly, was transferred to a psychiatric unit. Psychiatric hospitals are scary. They are horrible. I begged my doctors to discharge me for the four times I was admitted for, as I was crying every single day because of what was going on around me.

Listen to what I had to say. Listen to the dangers. Listen to the effects bullying has not just on myself, but on others.
Please, stop bullying.

Yours sincerely
Natalia

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